Thursday 17 December 2009

Top 10 Films of the Noughties (by year)


My Top 10 List from 2000-2009 (one per year):

2000 (Tie): Gladiator & O Brother, Where Art Thou?
O Man, I hate starting the list off w/ a tie, but I simply cannot choose between these two AMAZING films.

2001: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Whew! Now that one was way easier.

2002: City of God
I can't think of a better example of Orwellian doublespeak than the Brazilian housing project/slum for which this film is named. A rare glimpse into a world where the cheapest commodity is life itself.

2003: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
What?

2004: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Thematically, it was pretty straightforward, dramatizing the old axiom that it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. But then throw in a layered emotional texture w/ Michel Gondry's MTV-esque metaphysical labyrinth of memory erasing, AND Charlie Kaufman's hilarious, provocative and tragic script (not to mention Jim Carrey's best turn to date), and you've got the best of 2004!

2005: Sin City
To be honest, 2005 was not a big year for me @ the movies. I didn't see Crash, Brokeback Mountain, Munich, Good Night, and Good Luck, or Capote. And though I'm sure Sin City was not better than these Oscar-winning/worthy films, it is one that I saw, and I'm sure not giving the best film of the year to King Kong.
Besides, the visual adaptation from Frank Miller's graphic novel(s) to the big screen was nothing short of incredible!

2006: The Departed
As much as I love Clint Eastwood fims (Letters From Iwo Jima/Flags of our Fathers) whether acting or directing, I'm going w/ Scorsese this year. The acting (from Jack Nicholson's Irish mobster to Matt Damon's undercover criminal) is top notch. And Leo DiCaprio as an undercover cop, and Mark Wahlberg as a hothead sergeant give the performances of their careers. Another crime-in-the-streets classic from Scorsese!

2007: No Country for Old Men
An instant reminder why the Coen brothers deserve to be ranked at the forefront of American filmmaking. While Ratatouille is the 2007 film I've seen the most (I have two young daughters), quite possibly the year's best was actually made-for-TV-movie, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee, a chronicle of how the (native) American Indians were displaced as the U.S. expanded west.

2008: The Dark Knight
This was a toss-up, but Batman just edged Slumdog. TDK was appropriately sinister and consistent with the tone and darkness of the DC comic book series Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight. And Heath Ledger's standout performance as mass-murdering psychopath, Joker, may just be what secured the top spot for 2008.

2009: ????
It's just too early to say. There are too many 2009 films I've not yet seen (since I usually have to wait for DVD release before seeing most films). Some that will be in the running are: Gran Torino, UP, District 9, Inglorious Basterds, and Avatar. Some I'd like to see before making a decision: 500 Days of Summer, Tyson, The Informant, and Where the Wild Things Are.

Tuesday 27 October 2009

Stuff Christians LIke


This has been an ongoing little project that I've been having some fun with. This is also a completely stolen concept. I think the concept was inspired by a circulating email entitled "Stuff White People Like" (See entry #1). It has been adapted and even turned into a book on all things Christian, a sort of satirical overview of some of our most common trademarks, mannerisms and commonalities. Some of these are mine and some are... er... borrowed; some light-hearted, some kind of sad, and some tragically and painfully true.
Bottom line is it's for a laugh... I mean, if we can't laugh at ourselves, right?

So here are just a few of the Stuff Christians Like:
  1. Putting a God spin on popular secular ideas (like 'Got Milk?' becomes 'Got Jesus?').
  2. Reading "Love is Patient" at your wedding.
  3. Songs with bottomless lyrics.
  4. Comparing 'The Matrix' to Christianity.
  5. Thomas Kinkade
  6. Becoming awesome in a certain number of steps.
  7. Dating God... instead of me.
  8. Calling Satan "the enemy."
  9. Greeting the people around you.
  10. Dressing up church with cool words.
  11. Mixing sign language and music.
  12. Church names that sound like clothing stores.
  13. Songs that sound Christian, but aren't.
  14. Famous Christians.
  15. Not dancing.
  16. Occasionally swearing.
  17. Creating new types of services.
  18. Giving advice on things we've never experienced.
  19. Metrosexual worship leaders/singers.
  20. Rooting for secret Christians on American Idol.
  21. Rob Bell.
  22. Saying, "I'll pray for you," and then not.
  23. Getting a precise definition of virgin from your youth pastor, or 'How far is too far?'.
  24. Purpose, purpose, purpose.
  25. Not owning nice stuff.
  26. Calling people "seekers."
  27. Being Relevant.
  28. Aspiring to be nothing more in life than a wife & mother.
  29. Being edgy.
  30. Rededicating your life, again.
  31. Fearing the rapture will come before you lose your virginity.
  32. Editing pop culture.
  33. The side hug.
  34. Discovering our spiritual gifts.
  35. Leadership.
  36. Calling things "postmodern."
  37. Getting caught off guard by divorce.
  38. Grape juice instead of wine for Communion.
  39. Offering a safe approach to life.
  40. Using the word "Frickin" in place of the F word.
  41. Journaling.
  42. Disguising gossip as prayer.
  43. Books that become empires.
  44. Playing the G card.
  45. Associating 'meditation' with yoga, candles and chanting.
  46. Knowing where not to be during the rapture.
  47. Emerging from something.
  48. Wishing your testimony was more exciting.
  49. Personality tests; or how to categorize myself so that you will truly understand me.
  50. Discovering your personal calling.
  51. The Five Love Languages.
  52. Trying to be liked.
  53. Kissing dating goodbye.
  54. Coaching.
  55. Never being in a room alone with a member of the opposite sex.
  56. Evangelism tools.
  57. Building a community of communities within community... and then worshiping at the altar of Community.
  58. Witnessing to people who don't believe the Bible using the Bible.
  59. Saying, "I grew up in the church."
  60. Wishing sin wasn't fun.
  61. Weird dating websites.
  62. War themed ministries.
  63. Waiting on God.
  64. Telling you how many people come to our church.
  65. The pray if you feel led prayer.
  66. Chain email forwards.
  67. Meticulously and Magnificently Making Multiple Messages Match (M)letters.
  68. Giving open flames to kids on Christmas eve.
  69. Referring to that verse where Jesus clears the temple when you get angry.
  70. The Passion of the Christ
  71. Singing, "You down with G.O.D." instead of OPP.
  72. Committees on committees about committees.
  73. Using "love on" as a verb.
  74. Traveling mercies.
  75. Thinking Vegas is slightly worse than hell.
  76. Thinking temptation just kind of happens.
  77. Thinking God is "testing you" when you encounter hard times.
  78. Christianizing your facebook profile.
  79. Disguising baby beauty pageants as Baby Dedications.
  80. Reading through the Bible.
  81. Precious Moments.
  82. Confusing never with ever.
  83. Lying because I love you.
  84. Promise rings.
  85. Narnia.
  86. Margin, or life balance, or what $3 will get you.
  87. The friend that went to counseling once and is now an expert on counseling you.
  88. Wishing you had partied before becoming a Christian.
  89. Going through "seasons."
  90. Powerpointing for the Lord.
  91. Using God as a financial plan.
  92. "Jesus Walks" by Kanye West.
  93. Loving issues, liking people.
  94. Saying "just" during prayer.
  95. Fishbowling the drummer.
  96. The prayer grunt of affirmation.
  97. Prosperity, or 28 ways Jesus blings.
  98. Liking the Bible less than Hunter S. Thompson liked The Great Gatsby.
  99. Background music for prayer.
  100. Looking cool at church.
  101. Arguing about the "wives submit to your husbands" verse.
  102. Praying w/ our hands on people.
  103. Worship leaders that add the word "and" to songs.
  104. Sufjan Stevens.
  105. Warning friends that the person they are about to meet is a "non-Christian."
  106. The marriage triangle.
  107. Christian emoticons.
  108. Getting married before the legal drinking age; or How to pass the time at boring weddings.
  109. Accountability.
  110. Homeschooling.
  111. U2
  112. Saying "The Bible" when asked what your favorite book is.
  113. Dividing the bill up to the exact cent; or contributing to the cost of the meal, but not the tip.
  114. Not tipping.
  115. The Republican party.
  116. The secular culture parental filter, or "How I almost got to listen to Europe."
  117. Breaking the chains.
  118. Indie-folk-alt-country music, or music by uncool people for uncool people.
  119. How Christmawesome your Christmas sweater is.
  120. Bashing Obama.
  121. Meeting at Starbucks
  122. Getting single people married as soon as possible.
  123. Talking about Bible college like it's University.
  124. Reassuring single people that their mate is "still out there," or how to make single people feel like losers.
  125. Talking about 'vision' more than living out 'vision;' or Meetings, Meetings, Meetings.
  126. Waiting to hear from God before answering hard questions, or exercises in spinelessness.
  127. Doing "everything else" except sex.
  128. Lists.

Tuesday 25 August 2009

Funny Craigslist Post

This Ad Was Allegedly Posted to Craig's List Personals:

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 05-27-09, 1:43 a.m. EST.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend and me, threatening our lives.

You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.

I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.

My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.

Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, wasn't it?

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number, etc).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you . . . but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,
Alex

Thursday 2 July 2009

The Angels are #1 in ESPN The Magazine's Ultimate Franchise Ranking

This article appears in the July 13 issue of ESPN The Magazine.

In the year since The Magazine last calculated its Ultimate Standings, the world has gone to hell in a handbasket. Banks have collapsed, markets have crashed, millions of Americans have lost their homes, and millions more have lost jobs. Many sports teams spent the past decade squeezing customers for every last dollar; they suddenly find themselves scrambling to create new ways to connect with fans.

Our Standings rank all 122 MLB, NBA, NFL and NHL franchises by how much they give back to fans for all the emotion, money and time fans invest in their favorite teams. This year, the rankings are more important than ever. The downturn has left fans with less money to spend, driving them away from expensive sports events. It has also increased demand for value. To fans who can afford only one or two games per year, every busting-ass-to-first sprint on a grounder means a lot. So do a fast-moving hot dog line and players who are quick to visit a children's hospital. The Los Angeles Angelsare No. 1 in our Ultimate Standings because they understand the importance of value, performance and effort -- and did so long before the recession hit.

Our Standings combine results from fan surveys and from analyses of how efficiently teams use the money fans spend (see our methodologyhere). This year the Angels excelled at both parts of that test. Fans love the experience of going to Angels games, in particular the friendliness that extends from ticket takers to food vendors to parking lot attendants (Fan Relations: No. 8; Stadium Experience: 16). Even more, they love the 75 promotions in 81 home dates this year, with giveaways ranging from Rally Monkey banks to nacho chip platters to Bobby Grich replica jerseys.

Tickets to root-root-root for the 2009 Halos cost an average of just $20.05, and the total fan cost to attend an Angels game is the fifth lowest in MLB and 32% less than it costs to attend a Dodgers game. The team also has low-cost parking and concessions and the least-expensive caps in all of sports. Yet the Angels aren't luring fans to the park on the cheap out of necessity: Since the start of the 2007 season, they've won 232 games (Bang for the Buck: 6), more than any MLB team except the Red Sox.

On the field, manager Mike Scioscia (Coaching: 5) has instilled a hard-charging, take-every-extra-base style of play (Players: 14). "Hiring Mike in 2000 was really a turning point," says GM Tony Reagins. "He's helped make sure that down to the lowest levels, we teach the concept of doing little things very well. Our scouts look for players who are a good fit with our style. Our player development people teach them year after year what we expect. And once they come up, that's how they play." Statheads carp that the Angels don't focus enough on on-base percentage or hitting for power. But their knack for identifying talent, executing Sciosciaball and developing good pitchers has the Angels in pennant contention virtually every year (Title Track: tied for No. 1).

The Angels are owned by Arte Moreno, a Vietnam War enlistee, Little League coach and former billboard magnate. Before he bought the team in 2003, the franchise was so moribund that it had once received revenue-sharing payments from MLB despite playing in the nation's second-largest metropolitan area. Now a whole team of smiling, red-shirted, halo-A'd employees pitches in to draw families to the ballpark -- and the Angels have drawn at least 3.3 million fans every year since 2004, never finishing lower than second in AL attendance. "We all come from sales," says team president Dennis Kuhl, who has worked with Moreno for more than 30 years. "We'll try discounting tickets; we'd rather fill a seat for some money than leave it empty. We really believe that promotions drive attendance. And we want a dad to be able to buy something for his kid, like a T-shirt, for under $10."

Kevork Djansezian/Getty ImagesDespite a slow start by the Angels -- and Vlad -- attendance has dropped a mere 234 fannies per game, and the Halos are back in contention in the West.

Yet for all the Angels' commitment to customer service, no team is immune from the tragedies of everyday life. For the Angels, this season has been clouded by the early-season death of pitcherNick Adenhart and two serious fights among fans. On Opening Day, a fan died when he fell and hit his head after he was punched. And on June 24, an off-duty police officer shot two men during an altercation in the parking lot of Angel Stadium. Still, the concept of an "Angels way" dedicated to fans is Moreno's vision (Ownership: 11). "The fights were unfortunate but isolated incidents," says PR boss Tim Mead. "Everyone here, from our security guards, who work closely with the police, to ushers to food vendors, pays attention to detail to make this a family place to watch a ball game."

The team also spends money in creative ways to help build its brand. Moreno, who once told a reporter, "Leverage is the American way," was part of a group that paid $42 million for a powerful radio station. He renamed the station KLAA and began airing Angels games. Result: The team's popularity spread, and Moreno was able to land a local TV deal worth $50 million a year. The Angels also generate $26 million a year in stadium sponsorship revenues.

All of which is utterly opposite the anti-Midas touch exhibited by the owner of our last place team, the Los Angeles Clippers. That would be Donald Sterling, a billionaire Beverly Hills real estate baron who faces federal racial discrimination charges. For decades Sterling notoriously squeezed profits from the Clippers, who have been the biggest losers in pro sports (707—1,317) during his 25-year tenure as owner in LA. And the 2008-09 season was one of the most epic disasters in the Clippers' sorry history. Former No. 1 draft choice Elton Brand bolted for Philly;Eric Gordon injured his right ankle on the first day of training camp; Ricky Davis flunked a drug test; Al Thornton ate fast food for pregame meals; Baron Davis, a $65 million free agent who was wooed to the team (then abandoned) by Brand, succumbed to ulcers; former GM Elgin Baylor sued the franchise for racial and age discrimination (in a case separate from the federal charges Sterling is facing); and the team finished 19—63. Cue the locusts.

Noah Graham/Getty ImagesAfter a 19-63 record last year, the Clippers are hoping Blake Griffin won't go the way of some of their previous talented draftees (read: Lamar Odom).

As his organization spirals downward, Sterling can take comfort at least in the fact that coach/GM Mike Dunleavy and his players have raced even faster to the absolute bottom of fans' hearts (Coaching: 122; Players: 122; Ownership: 116). Yes, the Clippers did draft Blake Griffin -- and fans are already worried that Griffin will eventually follow in the footsteps of Lamar Odom, who launched his career as a Clipper, then headed for the life raft as soon as free agency beckoned.

Despite all that, the Clips have increased in value by an average of 12% a year since Sterling bought them in 1981 and are now worth $297 million, according toForbes. But here's the thing: The Angels have jumped in value by 19% a year since Moreno bought them and are already worth $509 million. It's hard to lose when you've got monopoly control over any territory in a league that shares billions of dollars a year in TV cash. But as the Angels, Colts, Red Wings, Steelers or any of the teams that perennially rank near the top of our Standings can tell you, to make big money, you've got to build an experience that fans believe in, enjoy and share.

It's an investment franchises can't afford not to make.


Peter Keating is a senior writer at ESPN The Magazine. Additional research was provided by Morty Ain, Jason Catania, Anna K. Clemmons, Andy Kamenetzky, Brian Kamenetzky, Eddie Matz and Doug Mittler.


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Friday 26 June 2009

Top 5 Michael Jackson Songs of All Time


The fact that I can even assemble a list like this is testament to the prolific figure that Michael Jackson was in pop music. I've never owned one of his albums. Of the 4,547 songs on my iPod, not one of them is a Michael Jackson song (but I did have parachute pants in 1985, and really wanted a glitter glove).
The point is, Michael Jackson was so big in pop culture that one didn't even have to be a fan to recognize and participate in the global phenomena that was the King of Pop.

So here's my minimal tribute to Michael Jackson... a Top 5 greatest songs list:
  1. Billie Jean (1983): winner of two Grammy awards in 1984, this is the song that triggered MJ's success.
  2. Thriller (1983): the horror-sci-fi narrative music video was the most expensive video of its time, costing nearly $800,000 (equivalent to $1.4 million today), and is the title track to the bast selling album of all time.
  3. Beat It (1983): despite crass jokes about the meaning of the song, the lyrics are about defeat and courage.
  4. Don't Stop Til You Get Enough (1979): MJ's first solo Grammy from the Off the Wall album.
  5. Smooth Criminal (1987): the centerpiece of MJ's hour-long short film, Moonwalker (starring Joe Pesci), and inspiration for Sega Genesis arcade video game!

Thursday 18 June 2009

Thoughts on the Me Generation v. Generation Me

(extended thought from blog post on the McKenzies page entitled Online Catharsis)

The baby-boomers were at one time thought to be the most self-absorbed generation in American history, and carried the label of the Me Generation. In recent years this title has been appropriated, twisted and reassigned to the babies of those same boomers - born in the 80s and 90s - now called Generation Me or the Look @ Me Generation.
Author Jean Twenge, an Associate Professor of Psychology at San Diego State University and herself a member of Generation Me - spent 10 years doing research on this group's sense of entitlement and self-absorption. She attributed it to the radical individualism that was engendered by baby-boomer parents and educators focused on instilling self-esteem in children beginning in the 1970s. American and Canadian youth were raised on aphorisms such as "express yourself" and "just be yourself."

To further illustrate her point, Twenge also found a large increase in self-reference words like "I," "me," "mine," and "myself" in news stories published in the 80s and 90s. These words replaced collective words such as "we," "us," "humanity," "country," or "crowd" found in the stories of similar nature in the 50s and 60s. This generation may be the least thoughtful, community-oriented and conscientious one in North American history.

-Information gathered from Adbusters Magazine, Nov/Dec 2008 - #80 - Volume 16, Number 6


Wednesday 3 June 2009

Twitter Spoof Video


Kinda' makes you think twice about your next status update, huh?

Monday 4 May 2009

American Football in Glasgow


Undoubtedly the bastard child of the 1985 Chicago Bears' Super Bowl Shuffle.
Another reason to looooove that team!

Friday 20 February 2009

ALBUM REVIEW: White Lies - To Lose My Life


I should probably begin by confessing that I have a tendency to go through honeymoon phases with albums (especially debut albums).  For some reason, debut albums tend to be a lot of bands' climax, only to spiral downhill from there.  So, I imagine the verdict remains out on White Lies until their sophomore release, but after my first listen I am REALLY pleased with album, To Lose My Life. There will undoubtedly be comparisons to melancholy post-punk bands past, but in light of much of the canned drivel that is passing for music these days, White Lies is refreshing. Despite their morose lyrics and cryptic melodies, White Lies have just enough zip to prevent suicide levels of depression from setting in.  I haven't counted (and I'm not going to) the references to death, dying, the end, etc., but I'm fairly certain that they're in every track.  It's not an angry fascination with death so much as it is a sense of fearing it.  You might get the impression that the songwriter is obsessed with it.

If they're able to maintain this level of music, White Lies is Echo & the Bunnymen for the noughties... right down to Ian McCulloch-sounding frontman, Harry McVeigh.

You might like White Lies if you like: ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN, TEARS FOR FEARS, ARCADE FIRE, JOY DIVISION, INTERPOL, THE KILLERS

Thursday 12 February 2009

The Six Most Beautiful Minutes in the History of Cinema

Sancho Panza enters a cinema in a provincial city.  He is looking for Don Quixote and finds him sitting off to the side, staring at the screen.  The theater is almost full; the balcony - which is a sort of giant terrace - is packed with raucous children.  After several unsuccessful attempts to reach Don Quixote, Sancho reluctantly sits down in one of the lower seats, next to a little girls (Dulcinea?), who offers him a lollipop.  The screening has begun; it is a costume film: on the screen, knights in armor are riding along.  Suddenly, a woman appears; she is in danger.  Don Quixote abruptly rises, unsheathes his sword, rushes toward the screen, and, with several lunges, begins to shred the cloth.  The woman and the knights are still visible on the screen, but the black slash opened by Don Quixote's sword grows ever larger, implacably devouring the images.  IN the end, nothing is left of the screen, and only the wooden structure supporting it is visible.  The outraged audience leaves the theater, but the children on the balcony continue their fanatical cheers for Don Quixote.  Only the little girl down on the floor stares at him with disapproval.

What are we to do with our imaginations?  Love them and believe in them to the point of having to destroy and falsify them (this is perhaps the meaning of Orson Welles's films).  But when, in the end, they reveal themselves to be empty and unfulfilled, when they show the nullity of which they are made, only then can we pay the price for their truth and understand that Dulcinea - whom we have saved - cannot love us.  

Sunday 18 January 2009

Trickster Capitalism


"In a rich man's house 
there is no place 
to spit but in his face."
                              - Diogenes

THE JIG IS UP!


Luxury spending in the United States is growing more than four times as rapidly as spending overall.  Luxury autos, mansions, and second mansions, vast lots, huge yachts, gaudy home appliances, cosmetic procedures, ultrapremium wines - all are being consumed at unprecedented rates.  
Worst of all, it's not just the super-rich accounting for such waste. For every mansion on a vast lot, there are hundreds of thousands of "McMansions" on large lots.  While the super-rich buy a $30 million yacht, the plain-old-rich buys the $130,000 "bionic dolphin" (a one-person watercraft).  For every million-dollar "Diamond Dream Bra," thousands of $100 bras are purchased.  These incredible figures have been well documented by Robert Frank (Luxery Fever: Why money fails to satisfy in an age of excess), who sensed a "growing social tolerance of acquisitiveness and greed."

Information gathered from Shoveling 
Fuel for a Runaway Train by Brian Czech 


Sunday 11 January 2009

Happy (belated) New Year!

It's a bit late, but I thought I'd wish my loyal reader a Happy New Year.
I've got some ideas kicking around for some new posts, but I'm just trying to find the time to sit down and scratch them out.

Hope your 09 is mighty fine!