Bucs End a Streak and Clinch Division

It's been one of the most dubious streaks in NFL history, but after 32 seasons and 1,865 attempts, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-5) got their first franchise kick-off TD en route to a 37-3 drubbing of the Atlanta Falcons. The win also clinched the NFC South Division for the Bucs as they've gone 5-0 in division play after going 0-6 last season. It's the fifth straight season that the team winning the NFC South finished last the previous year.

Auburn v Alabama 2007 Video Clip

Like any other year, the Iron Bowl was the most significant game of the season for Auburn and Alabama... teams and fans. A win for Alabama means they can gloat all year long about how they dominate Auburn. A win for Auburn means they don't have to listen to Alabama fans gloat all year long about how they dominate Auburn. Despite what you've heard - Michigan/Ohio State, Florida/Florida State, UCLA/USC, Texas/Oklahoma, Republicans/Democrats - nothing and I mean nothing matches the intense rivalry between Auburn and Alabama. You don't believe me... just go one year. You will have never seen anything like it.
This year was extra special though. Neither team is in the national title hunt. Neither has a shot at a BCS bowl bid. Auburn entered the game 7-4 while Alabama limped in at 6-5 and on a 3-game skid. A victory in the Iron Bowl salvages the season for the winner. But for Auburn, who has won the last five meetings, going for #6 would be setting a new school record for consecutive Iron Bowl wins.

As usual, the game was a defensive battle all the way, with Auburn delivering just a little more than 'bama. Auburn won its 6th straight against the Tide 17-10. At the time this entry posted, it's been 2200 days, 12 hours and 53 minutes since Alabama last beat Auburn.

Following is a clip of Quentin Groves leading the Auburn band in their own version of Alabama's RammerJammer.



Man, that's gotta hurt!
War Eagle!

2000+ HITS

On May 17, 2007 I installed ClusterMaps, a hit counter that accurately shows the locations of all visitors to this site on a thumbnail map embedded in my page. You may have noticed it at the bottom of the right-hand column of my page. While I can't tell who visited my blog, I can tell where they were when they looked at it.

As of today, I've had 2,016 hits. That's around 335 hits per month. It's kind of weird to think that that many people have accessed my thoughts, opinions and perspectives. It's also kinda' cool.

Buy Nothing Day

No Purchase Necessary: A 24 Hour Moratorium on Consumer Spending - Participate by Not Participating

In America, everyone knows that the biggest shopping day of the year is the Friday after Thanksgiving - the first day of the Christmas season. This is the day consumer capitalism shines brightest and the day retail stores across the country look forward to all year long. Today is Buy Nothing Day in North America (it's tomorrow internationally).

Everything we buy has an impact on our planet. Buy Nothing Day highlights the environmental and ethical consequences of consumerism. Developing countries - only 20% of the world's population - are consuming 80% of the earth's natural resources, causing a disproportionate level of environmental damage and unfair distribution of wealth.

This year Buy Nothing Day will be the largest 24-hour moratorium against consumerism ever as the annual event serves as a communal 'detox from consumerism,' which insists no purchase is necessary.

If you need gas, get it Sunday. Groceries? Make do with what you have... and if you don't have much, consider fasting. After all, one-third of the world's population is technically starving to death.

Buy Nothing Day is an opportunity for consumers to take a break from shopping, either as an experiment or a public statement, and enjoy life outside of the shopping mall.

PAUSE LIFE - SPEND A DAY WITHOUT SPENDING - SPEND LESS LIVE MORE

BUY NOTHING DAY

A Unique and Intrapersonal Encounter with Bono

Taking a Trip Down Memory Lane

I found these awesome pictures from a 1977 JCPenney catalog online and just had to post and share them. The origin of the story is that a guy found this catalog while doing some work for his parents in their attic.

For those of you that remember the days of the 3-inch-thick Sears, Best & JCPenney catalogs, this should be a special treat for you.

Here is the cover of the catalog these pictures came from:

The clothes are fantastic!

Here's how to get the crap beat out of you in elementary school:

Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long, for the love. And this kid's bellybutton must be below the belt buckle. Way to go Sargent High-Waste!

Here's how to get the crap beat out of you in high school:

This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Here's how to get the crap beat out of you on the golf course:

This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden forced you to at gunpoint.

Here's how to get the crap beat out of you pretty much anywhere:

I'll bet these guys do ok with the ladies. If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his color-coordinated coffee cup.

Here's how to get the crap beat out of you at the beach:

He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster. Isn't that The Fall Guy's sidekick?

Here's how to get the crap beat out of you in a meeting:

If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit; which, frankly, is a step up.

Here's how to get the crap beat out of you everyday, up to and including, St. Patrick's Day:

Dear god in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the head coach of Notre Dame.

In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends At Penneys.

As does your search for chest hair.

And this one... seriously, there are no words:

Oh wait, it turns out there are words after all, and those words are What. The. #%@$! I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. I think the little tie must be the pull tab. If you look really closely, it says, "In case of chest hair emergency, pull tab quickly and back away."

Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, in 1977 it was apparently considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?

And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and an amused blonde with a look on her face that says, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look in that bathing suit?"

Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:

I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors. I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:

Man, that's sexy!

The Natural World: A Far Off Place

I'm not going to insult full-blown "tree-huggers," by suggesting that I am an environmentalist, but recently I find myself with a growing appreciation for Creation. I'm a part of an environmentally conscious group called F.O.R.K. (Friends of the River Kelvin), that participates in monthly clean-up parties in the west end of Glasgow; recycling has become almost a compulsive hobby of mine; we don't own a car so we walk or take public transportation EVERYWHERE; I walk through our flat turning off lights, and conserve energy by trying to wash clothes and dishes during off-peak hours. All in all, our carbon footprint is pretty darn low.

I must make a distinction though. While I love Creation, I'm not such a big fan of the great outdoors. By that, I mean that I thoroughly enjoy being in nature, but more often than not, when I participate in outdoor activities, I end up losing whatever battle I'm in. I get little joy or feelings of accomplishment when I hike a big hill; I'm usually pretty miserable on long bike rides.; and don't even get me started on kayaking. About the only things I find relaxing/rewarding in nature are surfing and snowboarding - two activities I rarely ever do anymore.

The important thing, however, is that I've come to realize that being environmentally conscious is no longer a lifestyle or a statement. You don't have to be hygienically challenged, or listen to The Grateful Dead and Phish to be an environmentalist anymore. You just need to look around and realize that, regardless of the statistics that we're fed, the Earth is changing. And more importantly, we've changed.

The generations alive today - who cannot recognize an edible mushroom in the forest or start a fire without matches - are the first to have had their lives shaped almost entirely by the electronic mass media environment. If you observe some of the stages that we as a people are going through - denial, anger, depression, bargaining - you'll recognize that they closely mimic the stages of grief. It's as if we're adjusting to a loss. And in a way we are. The loss of our natural selves.

We find ourselves adrift at a historically significant time. The last couple of centuries have marked a radical transition in human lifestyle. We've gone from living in a natural world to living in a manufactured one. For thousands of years our personalities and cultures were shaped by creation. But now, most of us find ourselves completely detached from the natural world. We can scarcely remember the last time we drank from a stream or saw the stars from a dark remove, away from the city. We can't remember the last time we spent an evening telling stories, instead of having Oprah or Jerry tell stories to us. We can't identify three kinds of trees, but we know all about Britney's custody battles and Paris' fender-benders.

This detachment from nature might not seem like much of a problem, but it is. In fact, it's tragic. In her 1995 book Bird by Bird, Christian writer Anne Lamott reflects on a California vineyard in early fall. It is "about as voluptuous a place as you can find on earth: the sense of lushness and abundance; the fullness of the clumps of grapes that hang, mammarian, and give off an ancient autumnal smell, semiprotected from the sun by their leaves. The grapes are so incredibly beautiful that you can't help but be thrilled. If you aren't - if you only see someone's profit or that in another month there will be rotten fruit all over the ground - someone has gotten inside your brain and really f***ed you up."

See, I believe that we were created to engage the natural world - to enjoy it, to be active in it, and to marvel at its wonder. Rediscovering the natural world ought not be difficult. It ought to be an instinctive act. If the Earth felt less like something out there, and more like an extension of who we are, we'd care for it like kin. We'd pull in the direction of global survival not because we felt duty-bound to do so, but because it felt right and good.

Our rampant, oblivious consumption; our spending with careless abandon, assuming an eternal supply at the expense of the planet is nothing more than a sickness - like mental disorders or addiction - it's just too new of a phenomenon for psychologists to have given it much consideration. Maybe I've come to this conclusion after living in an urban context for the past four years, but I think we're in a state of separation anxiety from nature. We're bombarded these days with analyses of failed relationships/marriages, of the psychological havoc that breakups wreak. The psychological fallout from our breakup with Creation is like that. When you cut off arterial blood to an organ, the organ dies. When you cut the flow of nature into people's lives, their spirit dies. It's that simple.

Occasionally, you'll bump into an outsider bearing tales of that other environment, the one you may have known. When an Inuit elder is asked to draw a picture of the local coastline, he will close his eyes and listen to the sound of the waves on the shore. Such stories seem vaguely ludicrous. Who could be that attuned to the land? More to the point, who'd want to be? Where's the value in denying yourselves civilized amenities when you don't have to?
Once you start asking questions like this, you are, of course, in real trouble. The moment you fail to understand why the natural world may have any relevance in the day-to-day lives of human beings, you become, what a golfer might call, "a lost ball in the high rough."

Abandon nature and you lose track of who you are. But more than that, you abandon your sense of the Divine.

activism

How's this for irony? Even though you spend your whole life combating the forces of capitalism, you still might wind up on a t-shirt sold in a store owned by the GAP.

psycho

Last year in the United States, about 1.6 million children and teenagers - 280,000 of them under the age of 10 - were given two or more psychiatric drugs in combination. Over 500,000 were prescribed at least three psychiatric drugs. More than 160,000 got at least four medications together.

SOURCE: Medco Health Solutions, 2005.

The Assault on Reason

Al Gore on Celebrity Culture

In his best-selling book, The Assault on Reason, Al Gore takes a harsh look at the media's fascination with flash over substance and celebrity culture. He discusses how rational, informed decisions on critical issues have become impossible in America, where "the 30-second television spot is the most powerful force shaping the electorate's thinking." Here are a few excerpts from the book that talk about how celebrity culture has mesmerized the entire nation.

American democracy is now in danger - not from any one set of ideas, but from unprecedented changes in the environment within which ideas either live and spread, or wither and die. I do not mean the physical environment; I mean what is called the public sphere, or the marketplace of ideas.

It is simply no longer possible to ignore the strangeness of our public discourse. I know that I am not alone in thinking that something has gone fundamentally wrong. In 2001, I had hoped that it was an aberration when polls showed that three-quarters of Americans believed that Saddam Hussein was responsible for attacking us on September 11. More than five years later, however, nearly half of the American public believe that Saddam was connected to the attack.

At first I thought the exhaustive, nonstop coverage of the O.J. Simpson trial was just an unfortunate excess - an unwelcome departure from the normal good sense and judgment of our television news media. Now we know that it was merely an early example of a new pattern of serial obsessions that periodically take over the airwaves for weeks at a time: the Michael Jackson trial and the Robert Blake trial, the Lacy Peterson tragedy and the Chandra Levy tragedy, Britney and K-Fed, Lindsay and Paris and Nicole.
While American television watchers were collectively devoting 100 million hours of their lives each week to these and other similar stories, our nation was in the process of more quietly making what future historians will certainly describe as a series of catastrophically mistaken decisions on issues of war and peace, the global climate and human survival, freedom and barbarity, justice and fairness. For example, hardly anyone now disagrees that he choice to invade Iraq was a grievous mistake. Yet, incredibly, all of the arguments and evidence necessary to have made the right decision were available at the time and in hindsight are glaringly obvious.
It is too easy - and too partisan - to simply place the blame in President George W. Bush. We are all responsible for the decisions our country makes. We have a Congress. We have an independent judiciary. We have checks and balances. We are a nation of laws. We have free speech. We have free press. Have they failed us?


Today, reason is under assault by forces using more sophisticated techniques: propaganda, psychology, electronic mass media. Yet democracy's advocates are beginning to use their own sophisticated techniques: the internet, online organizing, blogs and wikis. I feel more confident than ever before that democracy will prevail and that the American people are rising to the challenge of reinvigorating self-government.

Insanity Saturday

In all likelihood, most of the readers that visit this blog don't really care that much about the perspectives this writer has on sports. However, seven of college football's top 13 teams losing in the same week (to considerable underdogs) is not very likely either. So who knows?

An undersized, over-matched underdog stepped into the college football ring on Saturday and exacted some pretty devastating blows. The fight went something like this:

• A left jab delivered from #18 South Florida (4-0) to #5 West Virginia (4-1) staggered the favorite with a 21-13 Bulls' win in Tampa
  
• Another stiff jab from Colorado (3-2) stunned #3 Oklahoma (4-1) with the Buffalo's Kevin Eberhart's career-long 45-yard field goal as time expired to send Colorado past the Sooners in Boulder
• No. 6 (5-0) Cal followed with a right hook to the lightly favored #11 Oregon Ducks (4-1) as the Golden Bears eeked-out a 31-24 win in Eugene
• Kansas State (3-1) followed with a flurry of punches that leveled #7 Texas (4-1), handing the Longhorns a painful 41-21 home loss
• Although down, the favorite was not quite out as Maryland (3-2) connected with another crushing blow in a 34-24 win over home team #10 Rutgers (3-1)
• Georgia Tech (3-2) added an uppercut that sent #13 Clemson (4-1) reeling as the Yellow Jackets emerged with a 13-3 victory over the Tigers
• The champ looked as if he would make a dramatic come-from-behind victory as #4 Florida (4-1) came back from a 14 point fourth quarter deficit to tie Auburn (3-2) at 17 before freshman Wes Bynum split the uprights for a 43-yard field goal as time expired giving the Tigers a huge 20-17 knockout win

In total, the underdogs overcame an 89.5-point spread this week as the favorites tumbled. This was definitely an insane Saturday in college football.

Tagged!

Yep, I got tagged by my good buddy, Arthur. Here are eight random facts about myself:

1. I (also) have a hard time answering where I'm from. I was born in Alabama; moved to California when I was three; moved to Germany when I was 12; moved back to California at 16; moved to Arizona for a year, back to California, and now Scotland for the last four years. I don't have a home, but I make home wherever I am!
   
2. I'm watching UFC 76 right now.
   
3. Folding laundry is therapeutic for me.
4. I make the best baked oatmeal of anyone I know... or, I like my baked oatmeal best.
   
5. I'm allergic to codeine -- it's like LSD to me.
   
6. The sweetest words these ears could hear (next to Jasheen saying, "I love you, Christopher," or Gabrielle saying "I love you, daddy," or Isabelle uttering anything at all) is: "Ladies and gentlemen, game 2 of our doubleheader will begin in 30 minutes."
   
7. I have no problem walking out of a theater if the movie sucks... even on a date. "I'll be at Barnes & Noble, sweet-cakes. Come find me after the movie." (I know, I know... how'd I ever get married?)
8. My high school math teacher punched me in the stomach for locking him in the bathroom. No, I didn't press charges or try to get him fired.
   

The Governator

Check out this picture that my brother took on Pacific Coast Highway last Sunday.

That's right... it's Governor Arnie in his PHAT BLACK SUV!

Perspectives

As far as a sports weekend goes it couldn’t have been much worse, from my perspective. Auburn let the University of South Florida come in and take one from them in their own house; a 26-23 overtime loss. That’s pretty much all I want to ay about that.
The Angels dropped the last two games of their four-game series with Cleveland on Saturday and Sunday: losing 6-1 and 6-2, respectively. And the Buccaneers opened their NFL season with a 20-6 loss to the Seahawks in Seattle.
One bright spot was UCLA’s 27-17 victory over BYU… so I suppose it could have been a little worse.
But as I said… from MY perspective. Yeah, Auburn is 1-1 and unranked, but here’s a perspective on other power-programs that helps: Virginia Tech, Georgia, Tennessee, Florida State and Miami – all 1-1. Notre Dame and Michigan are 0-2. It’s not as if Auburn is in bad company.

But life is about perspective isn’t it? Glasses half-full or half-empty; failures or learning experiences; better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all?

Every so often I like to pick up a USA Today or International Herald Tribune to ensure I’m getting a balanced perspective on world news and current events (and to follow the MLB pennant race, as well as NFL & NCAA football). Lately however, one of the more annoying things about this has been the excessive coverage of the Michael Vick dogfighting fiasco. I can’t buy a US newspaper without even more coverage than they’ve already provided. It’s as confusing to me as their excessive coverage of the WNBA finals. Is this stuff really newsworthy anymore?

Well… anyway, here’s some perspective for you… in light of all the press surrounding America’s new most hated athlete:

Michael Vick’s participation in the abuse and execution of pit bulls has led to a guilty plea on federal dogfighting charges, and has drawn public vilification and triggered an indefinite suspension from the NFL.

Not as many people are familiar with Tampa Bay Buccaneers running back, Michael Pittman, another NFL player with a history of violence. Pittman has been accused of domestic violence four times, including an incident where he rammed his Hummer into a car driven by his wife and carrying their 2-year-old child and babysitter.

Pittman pleaded guilty to one felony count and served 14 days in jail. The NFL exercised their own brand of justice by suspending him – for three games.

Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t like anything about any one of these issues. I’m a dog-lover and think what Michael Vick has done is inexcusable and intolerably cruel. I’m also a Buccaneers fan and take no pleasure in using Michael Pittman’s despicable behavior to make a point. But facts is facts.

This tale of two Michaels underscores some subtleties within our nation’s core values system. It would be far too simplistic to imply that the NFL (or the US) cares more for dogs than for women. But the NFL, as with any other sports league, mirrors society, and seldom do acts of domestic violence ignite the kind of national outrage or the swift and severe punishment dispensed in Vick’s case.

Perspectives:

• Michael Vick abused and killed dogs.
• Michael Pittman abused his wife… on multiple occasions.

• Michael Vick is suspended from the NFL indefinitely and has lost any chance of ever being endorsed by a major brand again – and many would like to see his NFL career end immediately.
• Michael Pittman remains relatively obscure. He was suspended for three games and lost approximately $500,000 in salary. He remains on the Bucs roster and played in yesterday’s game against the Seahawks.

It’s all about perspective…

Christianity vs. Authenticity

"God hath given you one face, and you make yourselves another."
- William Shakespeare

I'm so tired of faking it. Can others see behind my mask?
Do I dare let you in? What if I told you who I am?
I long to be real.

Living in Glasgow as a minister and follower of Jesus Christ for the last four years has taught me a number of things about myself, my faith, and people who don't share it. When a missionary pulls up his stakes, moves overseas and sets up camp as... a missionary, then people examine his life through that lens. Makes sense.
All of a sudden his occupation is on display. He's a missionary. He moved here to do "this" (whatever "this" might be).
What do missionaries do, exactly? Do you go to an office? Do you earn an income? Do you have a job? No, no... I mean a real job? Do you work? No, no... I mean really work?

Over the past few months I've found myself in some interesting conversations about missionaries... usually with non-Christians, but I've had a few with local believers as well. It's amazing the perceptions that are out there. Several weeks ago I blogged about secularists and a chat roll that I participated in online. To recap, missionaries were viewed as imbeciles, idiots, yankee do-gooders, ignorant charlatans, morons, and pestilent priests. Those overtly bigoted impressions were delivered through the safe veil of internet anonymity. But I've also had some pretty civil face-to-face encounters, as well.

Sure there is the reason versus faith issue that circles the discussion of God and Christians, as well as the very human, "I will not have this God ruling over me," take. But quite honestly, in my time here and from the feedback that I've gathered, I think for the common man it boils down to Christianity versus Authenticity.

In my humble and limited experience, I'm going to make the statement that one of the biggest obstacles that Christian missionaries face in the field - especially in a western culture where missional living is key to successfully sharing one's faith in Jesus Christ - is their own inability to live authentically; to speak authentically; to allow others to really know who they are.

I hang out with a group of guys on Tuesday nights. We can gather as many as 10 or as few as four on a given week, but I'd say it's usually around six. All local businessmen; all closer to 40 than they are to 30; and all keenly aware that I am a minister.

"Christians always seem so damn perfect all the time," one said a couple of weeks ago, "I mean, is anyone ever really that flawless?" At that moment I resisted the urge to answer, "Jesus," for the sake of where the discussion was going. A few of these guys have had Christian friends. One's even had an American Christian friend. They agreed that they were nice guys and easy enough to get along with, but there was an impenetrable divide that made really getting to know them impossible. "You can never really know what they're thinking. Are they judging me? Are they afraid to let on that they have problems too?
And they're always f---ing together," one exclaimed, presumably about American missionaries he knows of here, "What do you people do together all the time?" he rhetorically asked me, not expecting an honest answer (of course).

This growing awareness of inauthentic Christian living was exacerbated today after Jasheen shared with me about a conversation she had with a woman from Gabrielle's toddler group. She asked Jasheen why Christians were so hard to communicate with. "You get to a certain level," she said, "and then - BOOM! - up goes a wall." There were some other comments made about missionaries, confusion as to why they're here, and what they do all the time, but in the middle of Jasheen's account our buzzer buzzed (as they do) and up popped a delivery man with a package from home. One of the items enclosed was a book from my dad entitled, TrueFaced: trust God and others with who you really are.
What?!?!?! Are you kidding me??? After a month of conversations involving this topic, and in the middle of Jasheen's story about how Christian missionaries are perceived as impersonal, inauthentic, and exclusive, a book arrives about trusting God and others with who you really are?

I just had to sit down and write about it. I try to be intentional about living as a flawed leader, but most of the time I'm probably just a crappy secret agent. My cracks, blemishes and stains can be pretty hard to hide... so I don't. I think most all Christian and/or missionary flaws are probably in one way or another rooted in the "F" word -- FEAR. Fear of failure; fear of rejection; fear of being found out.

What if someone finds out that I've sinned? Or even worse, that I still sin?
When we hide our stains, our anger, our mistakes, we eliminate one of the greatest treasures God has ever gifted us: the redemption found in the cleansing blood of His son, Jesus Christ. We're not perfect because we follow Christ, and in my experience, people don't expect perfection from me. But we are made perfect IN Jesus Christ. In our flaws, people will see our humanity. And only in our humanity will they be able to see our dependence on Christ and the subsequent wholeness that comes with a growing and knowing relationship with Him.

Don't be Christian... be REAL!

September: My Favorite Time of Year (Amendment)

The real story is the surging Angels! Currently on a five-game win streak, the Angels boast a 6.5 game lead over the Mariners in the AL West after a convincing series sweep of the boys from Seattle. The Halos (80-54) enter September a half-game up on Boston (80-55) for sole possession of the best record in the bigs! It's gonna be a dog fight!

September: My Favorite Time of Year

Traditionally, September is the most anticipated month of the year for sports fans. The climax of the pennant and wild card races, along with the start of the college football season... What more could you ask for?

As we enter the home stretch of the Major League Baseball season, there are some incredibly close races - especially in the NL. Who will emerge victorious is anyone's guess: Philly, Mets, Cubs, D-Backs, Dodgers? Who knows... and more importantly, who cares?

The real story is the surging Angels! Currently on a four-game win streak, the Angels boast a 5.5 game lead over the Mariners in the AL West after a convincing series sweep of the boys from Seattle. And the Halos (79-54) are only a half-game off Boston (80-54) for the best record in the bigs! It's gonna be a dog fight!

College football is here and I couldn't be happier! This is my absolute favorite time of year. The season didn't exactly start off with a bang though - yesterday saw four nationally ranked teams take on four complete patsies and the outcome(s) were embarrassing: The four ranked squads (#2 LSU, #10 Louisville, #16 Rutgers and #24 Boise State) beat the unranked J.V. squads (not worth mentioning) by a combined total of 212-20. I doubt the Nielsen Ratings registered much of a spike.

So, boys and girls, let the races continue and the march toward New Orleans commence.

It's Fall baby! And the Lord says, "It is GOOD!"

Christian Education

"What has Athens to do with Jerusalem?"
- Tertullian

Let me begin by saying that I am not altogether attacking Christian education, seminaries or Bible colleges. I am not wholly against them. I do have some personal issues and opinions about the education they provide, and I specifically chose not to attend a Bible college or seminary because of those issues (though I did attend a Christian college). BUT, that doesn't mean that they are unilaterally irrelevant or pointless.

In short, my problem with them lies in the theoretical and intellectual approach that they take in the ways they administer leadership development and equipping young people for ministry. First-century training was hands-on, rather than academic. It was a matter of apprenticeship, rather than of intellectual learning. It was aimed at the spirit, rather than at the frontal lobe. In the first century, those called to the Lord's work were trained in two ways: 1) They learned the essential lessons of Christian ministry by living a shared life with a group of Christians. They were trained by experiencing church life as non-leaders. 2) They learned the Lord's work under the tutelage of an older, more experienced worker.

R. Paul Stevens states, "The best structure for equipping every Christian is already in place. It predates the seminary and the weekend seminar and will outlast both. In the New Testament no other nurturing or equipping is offered than the local church. In the New Testament church, as in the ministry of Jesus, people learned in the furnace of life, in a relational, living, working and ministering context."

Modern theological teaching is essentially data-transfer education. It moves from notebook to notebook. In the process, the theology never gets below the neck. Theological knowledge, however, does not prepare a person for ministry.

The words of an anonymous pastor sum it up pretty clearly:

"I came through the whole system with the best education Evangelicalism had to offer - yet I didn't really receive the training that I needed... seven years of higher education in top-rated evangelical schools didn't prepare me to 1) do ministry and 2) be a leader... I had to ask myself why this great knowledge I was presenting wasn't moving from peoples' heads to their hearts and their lives. And I began to realize that the breakdown in the church was actually based on what we learned in Bible college and seminary. We were taught that if we just give people information, that was enough."

Why am I writing about this? What's my point? My interest was piqued when I recently came across the Faith Community Today (FACT) study released by Hartford Seminary in Connecticut. The study revealed that Bible college and seminary graduates and clergymen who had advanced degrees scored lower in both dealing with conflict and having a "clear sense of purpose" than non-Bible college and seminary graduates.

The survey showed that ministers with no ministerial education or formal certificate program scored the highest on tests that revealed how well one deals with conflict and stress. Bible college and seminary graduates scored the lowest!

In his book, Pagan Christianity (of which I will review very soon), Frank Viola comments, "All of this indicates that a person who matriculates from the theory-laden seminary or Bible college has been given no hands-on experience in the crucible of ministry life. In this way, the seminary/Bible college is stultifying on some pretty basic levels... Still worse is the elitism that system feeds on. The approach taken by seminaries and Bible colleges is self-referential. It sets it's own criteria for who gets to play and on what terms."

Herein lies some of my personal issues with Christian education, which is NOT why I wrote this, by the way. Maybe I'm more wrapped up in education than I should be. Personally, I don't see my Westmont education as a particularly important identifying quality about myself, though I have always been proud of it. I think my beef with Christian education, and more specifically Bible college and seminary education, has always been what Viola said about their approach. They set the standard. They decide what qualifies as a degree or a masters degree. That they have even built a system around the Platonic idea that knowledge and spirituality are the same has always troubled me.

A fairly well-known president of a fairly well-known missions organization (who will remain unnamed since he told me that if I ever quoted him he'd deny it) had this to say about the issue: "The only thing wrong with Bible colleges and seminaries is you've got the wrong people teaching there and the wrong people attending." I asked what he meant by that and he qualified the statement by saying that, basically, there are people who have never pastored a church, nor served in cross-cultural missions that are teaching and training the next generation of pastors and missionaries. Kind of a bad formula, don'tcha think?

In spite of all of this, I'm certainly not saying that I'm anti-Christian education in its entirety. This does not mean that the knowledge of the world, church history, theology, philosophy, and the Scriptures is without value. It's just not central. Theological moxie and a high octane intellect do not qualify a person to serve on the God squad. They may help... but they may hurt, too.

So again... why do I write this? Why do I write any of my blogs for that matter? I pretty much blog for two reasons: passion and intrigue. Sure there are the occasional comedic entries and informative diatribes, but for the most part I blog about what I'm passionate about or what sparks my interest/curiosity. The FACT study caught my eye and got me thinking. Maybe it's stirred something in your minds too?

How Addicted Are You?

64%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Mingle² - Dating Site

Things That Caught My Eye This Week

• Republican presidential contender, Mitt Romney, made a surprising statement this week warning that withdrawing U.S. troops from Iraq too soon could be catastrophic. The general sentiment that I encounter here in Scotland is that the U.S. and Britain should terminate their war on terror and pull all the troops out. What made this even more intriguing is that I spoke with an Iraqi woman this week who has relocated to Glasgow upon marrying a British man, and she absolutely loves the George's - Sr. and Jr. She said she's so thankful for George W. Bush and all that he's doing for her country. In addition, she said that the only criticism she had of George Bush, Sr. was that during the Gulf War he pulled out too early. This got me thinking about all the positions and perspectives we have on the U.S.'s global involvement in circumstances such as this. Do we ever actually get the perspective of the people who are living in or from these countries? Or do we simply project our own ecumenical values onto the culture at hand and infuse our personal agendas into the conversation? Either way, it was both startling and refreshing to hear someone from Iraq express gratitude to our president and our nation for their part in helping her country.
  

• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is No. 1 on USA TODAY's Best-Selling Books list for the third straight week. If history is any indication, it will be there for three more. Goblet of Fire (2000), Order of the Phoenix (2003) and Half-Blood Prince (2005) each topped the list for six weeks.

• After an ankle injury delayed his MLS debut, David Beckham's career with the LA Galaxy started off on the right foot. He scored his first goal on a free kick in the 27th minute of the Galaxy's 2-0 victory over DC United in the SuperLiga semifinals Wednesday night. Later in the game he also became the team captain when Landon Donovan turned his armband over to Beckham. In a very humble response to the gesture Beckham responded, "I'm very honored."

• Gabrielle Rae McKenzie came running into the kitchen after bath time stark nekkid exclaiming, "Potty, potty! Potty, daddy!" I asked if she needed to go potty and she said no. She pointed to the bathroom and again said, "Potty." Intrigued, I went to the bathroom to find her little plastic potty in the middle of the floor with something in it. Gabrielle took it upon herself to go pee-pee all by herself with no coercion from our part. I gotta' say... that really caught my eye!

• The NFL pre-season is underway!!! Michael Vick has failed to show up to practices and games.
  

Skate Church Makes the Front Page

Several months ago I was in Tinderbox, a local coffee place near our flat, and I met Dave Reasbeck. He overheard my American accent and decided to engage by asking what I was drinking. It was a Vanilla Icebox and they're awesome! I began telling him what I was doing in Glasgow and Dave responded very enthusiastically. "I'm a missionary too, dude!!!"

Dave has been here in Scotland for the last seven months, and he only just left this morning to return to the States to work out his visa situation so he can stay in the UK indefinitely. Dave is a semi-pro skateboarder who has been working alongside Bob Hill, a missionary-pastor ministering in Scotland for the past 13 years. Together they share the teaching times at Deeper, a skate church planted to reach Scotland's youth culture.

But as I said, I met Dave a few months ago and we hit it off almost instantly. We began meeting together pretty regularly once, sometimes twice a week. Much of our time is spent discussing the Bible, a book we're reading together (Pagan Christianity by Frank Viola), or ministry. But I think the thing we love to talk most about is the shape and shaping of the future church. Not church in the sense of a building or model, but the bride itself... the body of Christ. We can chat for hours about our love for those that don't yet have a relationship with Jesus; how we feel most fulfilled and most utilized when submersed in the culture around us, looking to bring Jesus into every encounter we have.

The Lord has really been blessing Dave's ministry. It's not uncommon for 120 young people to show up on a Thursday night to skate the largest indoor skate park in Britain and hear stories about a guy called Jesus. The real reason for this post, though, is to mention that The Scotsman, a Scottish newspaper (obviously) ran a Sunday Edition front page story on Bob, Dave and Deeper. Just thought there might be some interest in a story about one of the young guys I'm hanging with, discipling, coaching, etc.

That's Bob Hill in the center of the picture (above), and Dave is behind him "bustin' some fat air."

Picture of me and Dave at Kelvingrove skate park. Gabrielle in foreground.

Incidentally, our first meeting at Tinderbox was a significant encounter for Dave that made an impact that has stayed with him to this very day. The only thing he orders there is the Vanilla Icebox.

All Hail the New King!

Barry Bonds belts No. 756 off of Washington's Mike Bacsik to pass Hank Aaron and become Major League Baseball's new all-time home run leader

How does a self-respecting, tried and true, seams enthusiast not, at least, mention the passing of the most prestigious crown in all of sports? There has been so much hype, so much scrutiny, and so much anticipation surrounding this event that it's hard to write anything about it that hasn't already been written 756 times.

Barry Bonds... blah, blah, blah... steroids... blah, blah, blah... big, fat jerk... blah, blah, blah... asterisk... blah, blah, blah... BALCO... blah, blah, blah... and on and on and on. I think what Bonds has done is unreal. No one thought that Aaron's record would ever be broken. In fact, it took 26 years. And keep one thing in mind: Barry Bonds isn't finished. It's not remotely inconceivable that he finish his career in the 800 HR range.

Due to the sordid nature of the entire ordeal, however, I'm more intrigued by a rather abstract angle of this story. Mainly, the fan that caught the ball.

Stopping over in San Francisco on his way to Australia, proudly sporting his Mets jersey, Matt Murphy of Queens, NY "won the lottery" as he smothered Barry Bond's record-breaking 756th bomb and dove under the bleacher seats to wait out the ensuing human tidal wave. Everyone knows that the ball is worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, but what interests me is the position the government takes on the value of the ball before it ever exchanges hands.

Once Murphy took possession of the ball and it was his ball, it became income to him based on its value as of that day. Even if he chooses to keep the ball himself and never profit from it, he will still owe taxes on a reasonable estimate of its value (estimated to be worth approximately $600,000). Does that seem ridiculous to anyone else? No matter what, the government profits off Barry Bonds' achievement regardless of what actually happens to the ball. So now that Matt Murphy finds himself in the highest income tax bracket there is, he will be taxed around 35%, or about $210,000 on a $600,000 ball... even if he keeps it. And if that's not already twisted enough, capital gains taxes could also be levied in the future as the ball gains value.

That was an expensive catch. I mean, I'm sure the guy will sell it at auction and walk away with something in the neighborhood of $380,000. Which is probably about $370,000 more than the college student would have made this year.

So everybody wins, really. Matt Murphy wins b/c he comes away with nearly $400,000 (unless he keeps the ball, in which case he loses big-time); Barry Bonds wins b/c he's the new home run champ; and the IRS wins b/c they profit off something that has absolutely nothing to do with them, the government, income, or anything related to the US economy in any way. They win because they say they win, God love 'em.

I'd love to see Matt Murphy keep the ball, refuse to pay taxes on a $4.00 baseball (allegedly worth $600,000) and go to prison for tax evasion. Not because I want the likable kid to go to prison, but that would be even more ridiculous than taxing him on a "reasonable estimate" of the ball's value.
Talk about justice being blind...

Transformers

Even as a film... it's MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

It's doubtful that audiences went to see Transformers seeking the solace of art. Unless, of course, you consider an all-out, straight-up, kick-you-in-the-teeth, assault on your senses, CG-loaded explosion of full-fledged entertainment, art. In which case, the art was voluminous.

It shouldn't surprise you to find that the plot is absurd: a box (the Allspark), varying in size from a city block to a small television, with the power to reconfigure and animate machines into Transformers, has ended up on Earth. As have two opposing armies of super-robots bent on finding the box before the other. Caught in the middle of the maelstrom is plucky youngster, Sam Witwicky, whose great-grandfather's glasses have the imprint of a map to the box's location... Oh, sod it! No one came to see Michael Bay's latest cinematic eruption for the subtext. Here it is: Good robots fight bad robots and we get in the way. The end.

This is a story about gigantic alien sentient robots from outer space (originally Cybertron) who can disguise themselves as a Chevy Camaro, a fighter jet or a boombox. There are good ones and there are bad ones. The good ones are brave, loyal, self-sacrificing and want to preserve life. The bad ones are sinister, violent, self-serving and thrive on death and carnage. Combined with their size and firepower, these two juxtapositions create the recipe for mass destruction... and they unleash the majority of this destruction in downtown L.A.

I think the success of the film lies in its proclivity not to take itself too seriously. It may have been a risk, but Bay guides his film from the strict dominion of cool into the goofy, and it works. This is, after all, still a story based on a cartoon created to help a Japanese toy company sell a failing line of unique puzzle toys. As can be verified by the scene of 20-foot robots spilling about a suburban backyard like the Three Stooges, the film is entirely comfortable copping to its own silliness. In fact, well before the Autobots even appear in the film, the story is played out like a teen comedy. A pretty good one, too, thanks to relative newcomer, Shia LeBeouf. There's a point in the film where Michael Bay even takes a subtle pot-shot at himself when it can be heard by a streaking onlooker having just witnessed a meteor-like landing from one of the Transformers, "This is so much better than Armageddon!!!"

A film boasting arguably the most amazing CGI yet, it would be expected that the f/x were going to be the main star, but Bay did himself a huge favor by casting young Shia LeBeouf. A lot is abuzz about this guy right now so I won't linger, but in short, this kid can act. Described as a cross between Woody Allen and Tom Hanks, LeBeouf has all the makings of the next big thing.

If you can set aside the plausible, and understand that you're in for a big, brash, funny, dumb, childish, imperfect, but ridiculously exciting action-comedy, then I don't see how you won't enjoy this. It's a fast-paced, in your face thriller with great special f/x, likable characters (both man and machine), and all the explosions, gunfire and destruction you could want from a summer blockbuster.

McRating: 8.0

Woo-hoo! 1,000 Visitors and Counting!

Barely Evolved Cavemen has broken the 1,000 visitors mark, and what better way to celebrate than as a Simpsons character??? So here I am in all my yellow glory. With the exception of freckles, I was able to customize pretty well. My hair is growing out from being shaved, but there are ample lengths and styles to choose from, so look for an update as my locks return.

Simpsonizing yourself is pretty fast and easy. Go to simpsonizeme.com and submit a basic head-shot of yourself. You may have to try a few different ones because it's looking for certain contrasts and certain sizes. Then just follow the instructions to your Simpsons alter ego.

A couple of other blog-related things... check out the new links in my links section. I've added Hosoi Skateboards and Richard Mulder. Apart from being one of my childhood skateboarding idols, Christian Hosoi has an amazing story that can be seen in Rising Son, a film/documentary that chronicles his rise, fall and rebirth (both professionally and spiritually). Hosoi is an associate pastor at The Sanctuary in Westminster, CA.

I know Richard Mulder through mutual friends, Robert Lim and David Reasbeck. I've added Mulder to my links because of his intense love for God and people, particularly young skaters. Mulder has ridden for World Industries, Chocolate and Stussy, and now focuses the majority of his attention on traveling the world and sharing his faith.

Hopefully these newly added links will keep you interested and informed on what's going on in different ministries and ministry contexts around the globe.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

[WARNING PLOT SPOILERS AHEAD -- READ AT YOUR OWN RISK]

If you read my blog a couple of entries back entitled 'Will Harry Die?,' you know what my ultimate prediction was... however shrouded in satire it may have been. But seriously, how do you wrap-up the most successful literary/cinematic/merchandising phenomena in entertainment history?

(Ok, I know that's probably not yet quantifiable, but come on... do we really need to quibble? The last figure I saw was nearing the $6.7 billion mark -- and there are still two more films to be made, and the inevitable Criterion Collections; Directors' Cuts; Gold Bound Special Editions; Complete DVD Box Sets; Complete DVD Box Sets - Extended Editions; 5, 10 & 25 Year Anniversary Box Sets; and the endless supply of Harry Potter merchandise to come)

I, for one, think that J.K. Rowling had an immeasurably difficult task at hand when it came to providing a fitting conclusion to the series, especially considering the incredibly diverse range of HP readership. Rumors have been circulating for the past two years that key characters were sure to die in this seventh and final book of the saga, and by this time in the narrative, it's open war, and in wartime, people die. So there was a feeling that at any given time, on any given page, any given character could kick off.
The death toll is pretty extensive: Hedwig (the owl); Mad-Eye Moody; Dobby, the house-elf; Lupin; Tonks; Professor Snape; and George Weasley loses an ear. (Hey, I said there'd be spoilers!)

Deathly Hallows deviates from the standard HP sequence of events found in the prior books - opening at Privet Lane; the journey to Hogwarts on the Hogwarts Express; 1st Term; Christmas Break; 2nd Term; climatic conclusion at Hogwarts as the school year ends - and begins with Harry, Ron and Hermione, having withdrawn from Hogwarts altogether, almost immediately embarking on their quest to find the hidden 'Horcruxes.' This adds another layer to the overall story in that it concentrates much more on the adventure's journey - much like The Lord of the Rings.

It's no secret that Rowling is well educated in the classics, and at times her influences and inspirations are evident - Tolkien; C.S. Lewis; the... New Testament Apostles?*

*Asked if she was a Christian, Rowling answered:

''Yes, I am,'' she says. ''Which seems to offend the religious right far worse than if I said I thought there was no God. Every time I've been asked if I believe in God, I've said yes, because I do, but no one ever really has gone any more deeply into it than that, and I have to say that does suit me, because if I talk too freely about that I think the intelligent reader, whether 10 or 60, will be able to guess what's coming in the books."

I'm not sure of the authenticity of this quote (I found it online), so I'll save my comments. That being said, Harry does choose to lay down his life for the lives of others (greater love hath no man); he secretly goes to meet Voldemort (reminiscent of Aslan and the White Witch in The Chronicles of Narnia), and he does not defend himself (like a lamb to the slaughter). And it's the act of not defending himself that "saves" him and paves the way for his resurrection (although it's not clear as to whether or not he was truly dead or simply heavily stunned).

Despite much criticism and scrutiny from the religious right, this story is not about magic, witchcraft or wizards. It's a tale of virtue and flawed heroes; of friendship and loyalty; of trust, love and reconciliation.

There are some surprise twists in the story that lie in the re-emergence of Dumbledore, and the true nature of Snape's allegiance. I mentioned in my previous blog entry that we LOVE surprises even more than explosions, body counts and clever quips from our heroes. Although this tale does not end with the shocking death of Harry, Ron or Hermione, there are enough twists and turns to appease this reader. There are a couple of loose ends, however, that I would have appreciated being just a little bit more resolved. As I said, I think Rowling did a masterful job concluding the story, but I would like to know what happened to Hagrid. The lovable , cuddly half-giant was, indeed, one of Harry's most trusted and devoted friends, and as we're told what happened to just about every other character that meant at least as much to Harry, Hagrid's outcome remains a mystery. I'd also like to know what Harry does now. He always wanted to be an auror. I'm not sure that they're necessary in the wizarding world, sans Voldemort, but surely there is still some level of evil left. It seems that every witch and wizard in the world worked for the Ministry of Magic. Is that Harry's fate too? Do he and Ginny run a quaint B&B? A nice cafe? Is he a broom mechanic, or a Quidditch coach?

These are just a couple of unanswered questions I have, but I'll leave you to your own imagination as to the answers to these queries.

McRating: 9.0

Ozomatli

The last time I saw Ozomatli perform was for their first record release party/concert in 1998 at the House of Blues Sunset Strip in Los Angeles. I had connections by way of my 'brother from another mother,' Manuel Delgado (Delgado Guitars), a third generation guitar maker who'd made a guitar for Ozomatli guitarist, Raul "El Bully" Pacheco.

My ears are still ringing as I've returned from seeing them perform at The Arches here in Glasgow. In true Ozomatli fashion, the venue was jumping (quite literally) to the up tempo fusion of Latin, hip hop, jazz, funk, reggae, and rock that defines Ozomatli. This nine-piece, multiethnic band puts on a show like few other bands I've seen (up there with Fishbone & The Mighty Mighty BossTones), and they endear themselves to the audience by thoroughly engaging them throughout the show. From start to finish there is literally no lull in the performance. E-N-E-R-G-Y is just about the only word that accurately describes their stage presence.

Unlike 99% of the gigs you'll go to where the band finishes their set with a warm farewell and a 'thanks for coming out," Ozomatli, in their entirety, exited stage center directly into the welcoming arms of the crowd, where they set themselves up in the center of the Arches and initiated a drum & horns jam that veritably rocked the red brick catacombs. Closing with an enthusiastic conga line that ended in a crescendo of beating drums and blaring horns, the band esteemed themselves to the crowd once more as they closed their final number to a fury of applause and howls.

After the show I sought out Raul "El Bully" Pacheco who was surprisingly and pleasantly accessible. We talked of the show in LA and of our mutual friend, Manuel. He asked what I was doing after the show to which I responded, "Dude, I have three of the most beautiful young women in Glasgow sleeping at home, waiting for my return. I'm going there."
If you ever have the opportunity to see them perform live, I highly, highly, highly recommend it. But drink your Red Bull... you'll need the energy boost.

Will Harry Die?

With the release of the fifth cinematic installment of the Harry Potter empire, and the seventh and final book due out in a week, the film-going, book-reading world is buzzing with Potter-mania!

Yes, I saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix this weekend, but as I've stated in prior film reviews, I'm not going to bother reviewing films that gross hundreds of millions of dollars worldwide in less than a month. It will be argued that this is the best of the five films. It will be criticized for accelerating the storyline of the lengthiest book thus far (870 pages). Strong cases for both will be hard to refute.

But what's more interesting than the hype surrounding the current film, is the outcome of the final chapter in the literary series. Rumors have been circulating for at least two years that J.K. Rowling is going to kill off two major characters in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and we know that Rowling isn't shy about offing fan-fav characters (Professor Dumbledore; Sirius Black). So the billion dollar question is: Will Harry Potter chalk out?

As an American, I like closure. No - I need closure. The Brits don't seem to share my hang-up. They demonstrate almost limitless patience (which explains cricket) when it comes to the issue of 'resolution.'
We Yanks, however, don't want a flowery ending. We want things definitively tied-up. And that usually means a large body count. Preferably in the context of excruciating death sequences and lots of explosions. We love lots of explosions.
And we love when characters utter curt catchphrases like, "Let off some steam, Bennett," or "Stick around," after they skewer them with a lead-pipe or nail them to a wooden beam with a machete.

For these reasons, Harry Potter must die. I mean, I don't hate the kid. He's not my favorite character in the story, I actually like him. He's endearing and he's suffered a lot. So why do 80% of Americans polled think that Harry's headed to that great Quidditch match in the sky? His parents were brutally murdered, he spent his childhood in a closet, and every year someone close to him dies. Hasn't this kid been through enough already?

You want Harry to die... even if you don't know you want it. You want him to die because you want to be surprised. You want to be shocked.
Even more than explosions, we love surprises. And even though 8 out of 10 of us offer Harry our bloodlust, we know, deep down that won't happen.
Rowling doesn't have the stones.
Harry won't die because it doesn't fit with the formula for ending a grand mythological tale. Good triumphs over evil. Hope overcomes despair. Paper covers rock. Harry wins. Voldemort loses. The Ewoks sing.

Even though offering Harry a dirt nap is the only proper way to end this saga, it won't happen. However poetic, however tragic, however surprising it would be... Harry is decisively not going to die.
But how perfectly poetic would it be if a story that began with the chapter title, "The Boy Who Lived," concluded with the final chapter heading, "The Boy Who Died?" Harry is alive because his parents sacrificed their own lives to save him. It would be so appropriate if he kicked off with a similar act of self-sacrifice.

Of course, maybe if Voldemort lofted one final indefensible spell at Harry... like a mega-mother of an Avada Kedavra curse that no one has ever survived... and maybe if Harry did some kinda super-slo-mo-Matrix-stop-action move and deflected the curse back at ol' Voldy, and then the dark lord exploded everywhere into a million reptilian pieces, and then Harry blew on the tip of his wand and smirked, "I told you not to curse, Voldemort."
That'd be pretty cool, too.