Stuff Christians LIke

This has been an ongoing little project that I've been having some fun with. This is also a completely stolen concept. I think the concept was inspired by a circulating email entitled "Stuff White People Like" (See entry #1). It has been adapted and even turned into a book on all things Christian, a sort of satirical overview of some of our most common trademarks, mannerisms and commonalities. Some of these are mine and some are... er... borrowed; some light-hearted, some kind of sad, and some tragically and painfully true.

Bottom line is it's for a laugh... I mean, if we can't laugh at ourselves, right?

So here are just a few of the Stuff Christians Like:

1. Putting a God spin on popular secular ideas (like 'Got Milk?' becomes 'Got Jesus?').
2. Reading "Love is Patient" at your wedding.
3. Songs with bottomless lyrics.
4. Comparing 'The Matrix' to Christianity.
5. Thomas Kinkade
6. Becoming awesome in a certain number of steps.
7. Dating God... instead of me.
8. Calling Satan "the enemy."
9. Greeting the people around you.
10. Dressing up church with cool words.
11. Mixing sign language and music.
12. Church names that sound like clothing stores.
13. Songs that sound Christian, but aren't.
14. Famous Christians.
15. Not dancing.
16. Occasionally swearing.
17. Creating new types of services.
18. Giving advice on things we've never experienced.
19. Metrosexual worship leaders/singers.
20. Rooting for secret Christians on American Idol.
21. Rob Bell.
22. Saying, "I'll pray for you," and then not.
23. Getting a precise definition of virgin from your youth pastor, or 'How far is too far?'.
24. Purpose, purpose, purpose.
25. Not owning nice stuff.
26. Calling people "seekers."
27. Being Relevant.
28. Aspiring to be nothing more in life than a wife & mother.
29. Being edgy.
30. Rededicating your life, again.
31. Fearing the rapture will come before you lose your virginity.
32. Editing pop culture.
33. The side hug.
34. Discovering our spiritual gifts.
35. Leadership.
36. Calling things "postmodern."
37. Getting caught off guard by divorce.
38. Grape juice instead of wine for Communion.
39. Offering a safe approach to life.
40. Using the word "Frickin" in place of the F word.
41. Journaling.
42. Disguising gossip as prayer.
43. Books that become empires.
44. Playing the G card.
45. Associating 'meditation' with yoga, candles and chanting.
46. Knowing where not to be during the rapture.
47. Emerging from something.
48. Wishing your testimony was more exciting.
49. Personality tests; or how to categorize myself so that you will truly understand me.
50. Discovering your personal calling.
51. The Five Love Languages.
52. Trying to be liked.
53. Kissing dating goodbye.
54. Coaching.
55. Never being in a room alone with a member of the opposite sex.
56. Evangelism tools.
57. Building a community of communities within community... and then worshiping at the altar of Community.
58. Witnessing to people who don't believe the Bible using the Bible.
59. Saying, "I grew up in the church."
60. Wishing sin wasn't fun.
61. Weird dating websites.
62. War themed ministries.
63. Waiting on God.
64. Telling you how many people come to our church.
65. The pray if you feel led prayer.
66. Chain email forwards.
67. Meticulously and Magnificently Making Multiple Messages Match (M)letters.
68. Giving open flames to kids on Christmas eve.
69. Referring to that verse where Jesus clears the temple when you get angry.
70. The Passion of the Christ
71. Singing, "You down with G.O.D." instead of OPP.
72. Committees on committees about committees.
73. Using "love on" as a verb.
74. Traveling mercies.
75. Thinking Vegas is slightly worse than hell.
76. Thinking temptation just kind of happens.
77. Thinking God is "testing you" when you encounter hard times.
78. Christianizing your facebook profile.
79. Disguising baby beauty pageants as Baby Dedications.
80. Reading through the Bible.
81. Precious Moments.
82. Confusing never with ever.
83. Lying because I love you.
84. Promise rings.
85. Narnia.
86. Margin, or life balance, or what $3 will get you.
87. The friend that went to counseling once and is now an expert on counseling you.
88. Wishing you had partied before becoming a Christian.
89. Going through "seasons."
90. Powerpointing for the Lord.
91. Using God as a financial plan.
92. "Jesus Walks" by Kanye West.
93. Loving issues, liking people.
94. Saying "just" during prayer.
95. Fishbowling the drummer.
96. The prayer grunt of affirmation.
97. Prosperity, or 28 ways Jesus blings.
98. Liking the Bible less than Hunter S. Thompson liked The Great Gatsby.
99. Background music for prayer.
100. Looking cool at church.
101. Arguing about the "wives submit to your husbands" verse.
102. Praying w/ our hands on people.
103. Worship leaders that add the word "and" to songs.
104. Sufjan Stevens.
105. Warning friends that the person they are about to meet is a "non-Christian."
106. The marriage triangle.
107. Christian emoticons.
108. Getting married before the legal drinking age; or How to pass the time at boring weddings.
109. Accountability.
110. Homeschooling.
111. U2
112. Saying "The Bible" when asked what your favorite book is.
113. Dividing the bill up to the exact cent; or contributing to the cost of the meal, but not the tip.
114. Not tipping.
115. The Republican party.
116. The secular culture parental filter, or "How I almost got to listen to Europe."
117. Breaking the chains.
118. Indie-folk-alt-country music, or music by uncool people for uncool people.
119. How Christmawesome your Christmas sweater is.
120. Bashing Obama.
121. Meeting at Starbucks
122. Getting single people married as soon as possible.
123. Talking about Bible college like it's University.
124. Reassuring single people that their mate is "still out there," or how to make single people feel like losers.
125. Talking about 'vision' more than living out 'vision;' or Meetings, Meetings, Meetings.
126. Waiting to hear from God before answering hard questions, or exercises in spinelessness.
127. Doing "everything else" except sex.
128. Lists.