Will Harry Die?

With the release of the fifth cinematic installment of the Harry Potter empire, and the seventh and final book due out in a week, the film-going, book-reading world is buzzing with Potter-mania!

Yes, I saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix this weekend, but as I've stated in prior film reviews, I'm not going to bother reviewing films that gross hundreds of millions of dollars worldwide in less than a month. It will be argued that this is the best of the five films. It will be criticized for accelerating the storyline of the lengthiest book thus far (870 pages). Strong cases for both will be hard to refute.

But what's more interesting than the hype surrounding the current film, is the outcome of the final chapter in the literary series. Rumors have been circulating for at least two years that J.K. Rowling is going to kill off two major characters in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and we know that Rowling isn't shy about offing fan-fav characters (Professor Dumbledore; Sirius Black). So the billion dollar question is: Will Harry Potter chalk out?

As an American, I like closure. No - I need closure. The Brits don't seem to share my hang-up. They demonstrate almost limitless patience (which explains cricket) when it comes to the issue of 'resolution.'
We Yanks, however, don't want a flowery ending. We want things definitively tied-up. And that usually means a large body count. Preferably in the context of excruciating death sequences and lots of explosions. We love lots of explosions.
And we love when characters utter curt catchphrases like, "Let off some steam, Bennett," or "Stick around," after they skewer them with a lead-pipe or nail them to a wooden beam with a machete.

For these reasons, Harry Potter must die. I mean, I don't hate the kid. He's not my favorite character in the story, I actually like him. He's endearing and he's suffered a lot. So why do 80% of Americans polled think that Harry's headed to that great Quidditch match in the sky? His parents were brutally murdered, he spent his childhood in a closet, and every year someone close to him dies. Hasn't this kid been through enough already?

You want Harry to die... even if you don't know you want it. You want him to die because you want to be surprised. You want to be shocked.
Even more than explosions, we love surprises. And even though 8 out of 10 of us offer Harry our bloodlust, we know, deep down that won't happen.
Rowling doesn't have the stones.
Harry won't die because it doesn't fit with the formula for ending a grand mythological tale. Good triumphs over evil. Hope overcomes despair. Paper covers rock. Harry wins. Voldemort loses. The Ewoks sing.

Even though offering Harry a dirt nap is the only proper way to end this saga, it won't happen. However poetic, however tragic, however surprising it would be... Harry is decisively not going to die.
But how perfectly poetic would it be if a story that began with the chapter title, "The Boy Who Lived," concluded with the final chapter heading, "The Boy Who Died?" Harry is alive because his parents sacrificed their own lives to save him. It would be so appropriate if he kicked off with a similar act of self-sacrifice.

Of course, maybe if Voldemort lofted one final indefensible spell at Harry... like a mega-mother of an Avada Kedavra curse that no one has ever survived... and maybe if Harry did some kinda super-slo-mo-Matrix-stop-action move and deflected the curse back at ol' Voldy, and then the dark lord exploded everywhere into a million reptilian pieces, and then Harry blew on the tip of his wand and smirked, "I told you not to curse, Voldemort."
That'd be pretty cool, too.